In some ways I have a very relaxed style of parenting. My 2-year old son has never followed a strict schedule when it comes to his eating and sleeping habits. In other ways, I am the super anxious mom that attempts to provide my son with nutritious food free of gluten and sugar, using cloth and chlorine-free diapers, and cleaning the house with mostly natural products. Travel forces me to embrace the former-that is flexibility, and let go of the latter-namely control.
As our summer vacation begins to draw to a close, with only a few days left of our eight week sojourn in Italy, I am both saddened and relieved that we will soon be returning home. I am sad that our carefree days with virtually no plans except a bike ride, some delicious food, and the occasional get together with friends, is almost over. However, I seek to return to a schedule. My son has been fine, but in some ways I need our schedule of storytime at 10:00, nap at 2:00, dinner at 6:00, and walk to the park afterward. I know! I can’t have it all. Sometimes I get bored with the routine, and find myself pining for the Italian countryside. When I’m here in Italy, I sometimes miss the routine. It’s a character flaw I’m working on.
Traveling with young children certainly presents its challenges. I cannot comment on what it is like to travel with two, three, or (gasp!) 4 or more children. I have “solo uno” (only one). However, during the past eight weeks of traveling, there have been times in which traveling with my 2-year old son has felt overwhelming. A relaxing dinner has been virtually nonexistent (thanks to downloadable Netflix videos some semblance of a civilized dinner has taken place a time or two). To add to the typical toddler behaviors is the fact that my son is a “thrower”, and I never know when he will strike. He has thrown countless pieces of bread on the floor, toys, forks, you name it. This began around one year of age, and I thought he would quickly grow out of this phase within a 
couple of months. Not so. Most recently at a restaurant he threw a plastic cup across the table, shattering a wine glass. It was actually quite incredible that his arm was that strong. Maybe there’s a baseball scholarship in his future?
In addition to hurried dinners always eaten with a nagging sense of doom, there is the problem of mobility. For the most part it is relatively easy to find an elevator or ramp, but it is still sooo much more easy to walk around a city without a stroller! Then there is the issue of actually sitting in the stroller. When my son does not want to sit in the stroller we try to carry him. Then he practically pushes himself out of our arms. He, of course, wants to push the stroller himself. I apologize to the countless people that he has tried to mow down!
I can go on and on about the trials and tribulations of traveling with a toddler, but there is much to be said that is positive about traveling with a young child. We’ll get to that, but first a few stories…
This story begins in the small town of Bayeux where the famous Bayeux Tapestry is housed. First learning about the Bayeux Tapestry sixteen years ago in French class, I was eager to check it out. We entered the building and were outfitted with our audioguides and began our journey along the tapestry. Out of approximately forty commentaries on different panels of the tapestry, my husband was able to listen to three before our son had messed up the audio guide so that the commentary no longer matched the panel that we were viewing. I made it to eight. After about seven minutes, my son was done. As I was accompanying him out past the queue of people listening to their audio guide, an unfriendly woman turned to me and said “We can’t hear!”. “I know lady, we’re leaving!”. Ok, I didn’t say “lady”, but I thought, “Do I look like someone who is having fun?! Do you not see me heading towards the exit?” And please, all you have to do is plug your other ear and you can hear perfectly fine. Afterall, that’s what I was doing the first 5 minutes while my husband was holding our fussing son.
Children’s festival in Dinan, France
But the worst experience came in Bucharest when we visited the large (actually 2nd largest administrative building in the world) Parliament building. My 4-year-old guidebook informed me that it would be a 45 minute guided group tour. “Ok, we can do that!” I thought. Oh, how mistaken both of us were! It was a disaster almost from the beginning. My son wanted to be free to run through the long corridors, and was very unhappy we were not letting him indulge his toddler desires. I was trying everything! We were counting lights, stepping on certain tiles on the floor, watching videos of him as a baby and watching photos of his favorite aunt. The guide even interrupted his own commentary to our group of 20 or so people, to ask me if I could do something (as in, do something to shut my son up). I replied, “I am trying” holding up my phone as proof. I’m not sure what he expected from me. I added, “I don’t think we can leave”, hoping he would say “Oh no problem, let me call someone who can escort you back.” Afterall this was a guided tour in a building that only recently began allowing photos to be taken. They certainly were not going to let me leave me to wander around a 3,930,000 square foot administrative building on my own! So ensued another hour of hell. In total, the tour was closer to 1 1/2 hours. By the end I was exhausted. We were the last in our group to leave, and I couldn’t help but tear up as I apologized to the guide. I suppose I was a bit traumatized over the entire experience, or perhaps they were tears of relief, of joy, for this terrible experience in which I never knew when the end was coming, was finally over. I find it interesting that this building is somewhat hated by the people of Romania, as it cost an estimated 1.75 billion dollars (in 1989) and was built by their megalomaniac communist dictator before the revolution. I too, now have disdain for Bucharest’s Parliament building, but for entirely different reasons. Phew, that was cathartic, and now I wish to forever forget about that experience.
Ok, so now you may be wondering “Mallory, why DO you travel and torture yourself like that?!” That is a very valid point that I often wonder myself. It would be sooooo much easier and way less stressful to stay at home, for sure! However, then I would be missing out on so much, particularly those opportunities that travel with a young child provides. Again, a few quick stories from our recent trip to Romania…
After visiting a bakery in the evening and strolling the streets of Brasov, Romania, an older woman stopped and turned towards us, breaking off half of her muffin and handing it to our son. I quickly deduced that she was the bakery worker that we had encountered 20 minutes prior when we stopped to buy something on our walking dinner tour, and she was on her way home with a few goodies leftover at the end of the day. Sharing food seems to be a common thread that I have noticed while traveling in Romania. There was the woman in the fast food restaurant that made our son a cascavale pane (fried breaded cheese) because I mentioned how much he enjoyed it, and then did not charge us for it. Then there was the time at the grocery store in Romania when a young employee presented my son with a small piece of chocolate because he appeared upset. Another time we arrived in the evening to the large house that we would be sharing with what we discovered would be five Romanian couples. Before we were even at the top of the stairs with our luggage, a kind man came presenting a wedge of watermelon for our son, as well as an invitation to come downstairs and join them, which we did, drinking homemade plum brandy and wine. There was also the old wood-carver that handed our son a long, slender spoon he had carved. Upon seeing how happy our son was, he then found him a tiny spice scoop. Our son firmly held onto both for well over the next hour. There were and continue to be countless small moments in which I am grateful that my son is along. Besides, we love his company!
Despite the difficulty that traveling with children can present, I have learned that having a young child in tow can often present many opportunities to witness the genuine kindness of others. It provides an opportunity to more easily connect with a different culture, particularly one that speaks a different language. A child is almost like a buffer, an icebreaker of sorts. It allows me, as well as others, to more easily make a connection with less of the awkwardness that may sometimes occur, particularly when speaking a different language. It’s fun to also view the world with more of that childlike wonder. Additionally, we have seized upon opportunities we would not have otherwise have done without a child. For example, while visiting a castle in Dinan, France, I spotted a children’s festival L’Enfants Dans La Ville at the bottom of the hill. Knowing my son would enjoy that much more, I ditched the castle. The others in our group joined us shortly later, and we spent a lovely part of our afternoon experiencing some of the Breton culture. Tasty, but affordable sausages wrapped in galettes and traditional Breton dancing are just two of the experiences that come to mind that we would have missed out on had we not had a child with us.
So would I recommend traveling with a young child? Hmm, if rest and relaxation are what you are seeking or if you are hoping to check every important site and experience off of your list, then no. However, if you are looking to connect with a different culture, then it may be easier. Undoubtedly there are benefits for our son, as well. As he grows older, my hope is that he will acquire the skills to adapt and be flexible, and to have an open mind and acknowledge and appreciate the differences in our “mondo bello”. I look forward to many more years of traveling with our son, and the opportunities that it presents to all of us.
